charlotte :: clarity & courage

i've written about my board of directors (affectionately known as my BODs) on here before, but i can't express enough just how important they are to me. they're some of the first ones to know my life details ranging from the mildly important to the life changing. they're my sounding board and my voices of reason and wisdom. they know how to question my motives and then encourage and build me up by speaking my love languages loud and clear. they stand with me to celebrate and challenge me when i need it.

needless to say, i absolutely love sharing my life with them. but for the sake of your time and my desire to delay the onset of carpal tunnel syndrome, i'll just suffice it to say that, individually and collectively, they are one of the biggest blessings in my life.

so what's my point?

well, once again my BODs have pulled through in their beyond awesome ways. my life is about to get even more crazy awesome than usual and these men and women are standing by my side (not literally...don't go thinking that i'm about to announce an engagement. i'd need a man first.). however, my heart is bursting with anticipation and excitement over what the Lord is doing. God is proving Himself faithful once again and proving that my plans are mediocre at best, while His are abounding in grace.

i've been praying for both clarity and courage over the last 5 months. clarity to know what the Lord wants for me and courage to act in faith once i know. that being said, i'm moving to back to the tar heel state in the spring when my lease runs out down here. charlotte to be exact.

[i made that sound neat and tidy, but, honestly, there's more uncertainty than certainty. it's pretty much how the Lord works in my life, so i shouldn't be surprised at this point.]

i don't have a job lined up and i don't know where i'll live...but this territory is all too familiar for me as i step out in faith trusting the Lord to provide. i know He's faithful to provide and He's going before me. the Lord is doing something big. i'm not entirely sure what yet, but He's working. and i'm hopeful.

i'm patiently waiting and seeking. and i'm faithfully calling & texting my BODs for moral support on the days when i question the sanity of this whole shindig. thanks to each of you (and also mom, pops, & the sis) for your support and encouragement during yet another crazy phase of life for me. i am one grateful girl.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

i'm goin' fishin'

credit: Shayla Helsel

i don't fish. i never have. truthfully, i've actually never held a fishing rod for real. i used to pick up my papa's old ones and play with them, but i've never actually been fishing. not my thing.

[disclaimer: if you have a boat and go deep sea fishing, please feel free to invite me. it's on my bucket list.]

that being said, i fish. yep, you heard me. not literally. that's gross. but i fish in the sense of searching with all my might for what i value most in life, the things i just can't go another day without. bear with me here...

background: the disciples had literally just seen Jesus crucified, buried, risen, and reappeared to them in private. all after their homeboy Peter denied Jesus 3 times like he said he wouldn't. oops! that being said, they were probably a little emotionally fragile and unstable. so...they did what most of us would do. they went back to what was comfortable and what they knew. they grabbed a boat and went fishing. that's where Jesus finds them and where this picks up...

"[Jesus] called out to them [disciples], 'Friends, haven't you any fish?'

'No,' they answered.

He said, 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.'

When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish."

-john 21:5-6 

i don't stake my livelihood on my daily catch of fish like the disciples did. but i do place a high premium on relationships and building a strong sense of community. my "fish" if you will. it's no secret that both of those departments have been severely lacking down here in the sunshine state. i knew it would be hard leaving my k-world branson fam. and it was. still is. i just didn't think i would be sitting here 16 months later still struggling to have a community to provide accountability and life-on-life encouragement. but i am. 

it's discouraging more often than not, but i take comfort in the Truth from john's words that Jesus knows where the fish are. He knows where i should cast my nets, where i should invest my time. as i trust Him to provide, my nets will overflow. so while i feel like i'm still sitting here in the midst of a long night of nothing, i'm trusting that Jesus knows where the fish are.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

nashville meets vegas for old folks...and a little bit more

if you've been around me long enough, you've heard me refer to branson as...

"nashville meets vegas for old folks"

...and while that's definitely true, there's also a lot that gets missed in that description. like the incredible views of the ozarks and the sunset from my little spot on sunset inn atop mount branson. or the community that rallies to meet needs that haven't even been verbalized yet. the way this community serves each other is unparalleled. it's a special, quirky, little town that stole my heart. forever.

there's something to be said for the safety and familiarity of your biological family. you can be mean, and ugly, and a downright pill, but 15 minutes and an apology later....you know you're still family and you're still loved. because you're family and that's what you do. that's part of sharing your dna. you love the good, the bad, and the really really ugly. and they know the real you. from day one to your current state. they know you. and they love you.

but i also think there's something maybe even slightly more special about friends who become that kind of family too. because they don't have to love that way. that's not the expectation or the norm. instead, they choose to love unconditionally. they see the ugly (and are ever so quick to call me out on it) and then go on loving me just the same. they choose to stand in the trenches with me and choose to fight my battles with me in prayer. not because that's the expectation, but because they've chosen to become my family of friends.

if i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times, my k-world branson fam knows how to speak my love languages better than anyone else on the planet. it takes all of 0.2 seconds into a conversation to feel the warmth, acceptance, love, encouragement, and sharpening take place. it's uncanny. and man, does it make a girl feel like a million bucks!! and it makes me a better person, because i want to look for ways to return the favor. i've learned so much from the men and women in that little ozark town, and i've only begun to scratch the surface on paying my debt of gratitude to each of them.

so in the meantime, as i sit here and bask in my moment of overwhelming gratitude, enjoy some pics from my trip to b-town over labor day.

no trip to branson is complete without some quiet time in the mountains.

devouring andy's with LB and shay after the vb matches. if i had children, they would be my daughters.

proof that my legs are much longer than trish's legs. she graciously loaned me her car all weekend before i could even think to ask. her generosity blows me away.

catching up with dan dan the army man is always a treat.

brunch with my girls. T and LB bring the humor to my life (among many other things).

lunch with my SJVC kiddos. slightly more grown up than when they were 14 and 15. love them!

branson fam: thanks, once again, for welcoming me into your homes, your cars, your lives, and your families. this florida girl aches with every humid breath i take, but i'm grateful for the opportunity to still walk through life with each of you. i'll be back soon because i left my heart and soul with you. my heart can only take so much separation.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

all the way my Savior leads me

what a great reminder this morning. once again, He speaks and meets me in my need.

all the way my Savior leads me

all the way my Savior leads me

who have i to ask beside

how could i doubt His tender mercy

who through life has been my guide

all the way my Savior leads me

cheers each winding path i tread

gives me grace for every trial

feeds me with the Living Bread

You lead me and keep me from falling

You carry me close to Your heart

and surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me

all the way my Savior leads me

o, the fullness of His love

o, the sureness of His promise

in the triumph of His blood

and when my spirit clothed immortal

wings its flight to realms of day

this my song through endless ages

Jesus led me all the way

Jesus led me all the way

all the way my Savior leads me

all the way my Savior leads me

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

besties and beignets

this past weekend was an absolute whirlwind in the best kind of ways. two...not one, but two of my friends came to visit! laughter was a no-brainer. honesty was effortless. and life updates were flying left and right. that tends to happen when you live in separate time zones. you play mach speed catch up. thanks for migrating south, dayna and kat!!

anna maria island for a little relaxing with dayna

arkansas softball....woo pig!!

fro yo with kat and casey in orlando

tampa beignets with my nola bestie

frolicking around town with kat behind my wheel. i'll take it!

i can't thank these two women enough for putting up with my crazy antics and walking through life with me. love you both so much!! come back now, ya hear?

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

maybe random isn't so random

have you ever had one of those moments in life where you just sit back and shake your head in disbelief? not the kind of head shaking that comes from witnessing someone act a fool, but the kind that comes when you KNOW the Lord was gettin’ busy? i’ve had several of those moments in my 25 years of life, but more in the past few years than i can count.

my most recent one came last thursday via facebook. yes, God cares about social media. i'm 100% convinced. a friend of mine that i hadn’t talked to in 5 years posted on my wall. we met the summer of 2006 when we both worked at kanakuk (k2) and kept up briefly afterwards, but since we lived nowhere near each other and she didn't work at kamp again, we fell off the face of each other's earths so to speak. [disclaimer: i didn't purge her during my many facebook "friend" purges because i really liked her and figured it was okay for her to know my business 5 years later].

well, turns out she’s been living in lakeland, fl [read: 30 minutes away from tampa] for the last 2.5 years. i had no idea she was there because, like i said, we haven’t talked in 5 years and i hadn't thoroughly stalked her in a while.  the last i knew, she was still in indiana which is nowhere near florida. obvi. that being said, once we knew we were 30 minutes apart, we didn’t waste any time and met up for dinner saturday night since she was free and i was headed back from orlando and lakeland is on the way. thank you facebook for aiding in this communication and planning process.

i just have to say that the Lord knew i needed those 3 hours with her. we haven’t talked in 5 years. God has done some crazy things in both of our lives during those 5 years. heck, He’s doing some crazy things in both of our lives now. we’re both in similar phases of change right now and it’s crazy to see how the Lord moves! he knew we could be irons for each other again, and encourage each other as we walk through the changes in front of us. i mean, as we sat on laura’s couch and talked after dinner, my heart was full, refreshed, challenged, and encouraged. what a blessing to have her back in my life! i have a feeling i will be keeping the pavement between tampa and lakeland hot. and i’m okay with that.

ready for the hoedown party at kamp (laura is to my right, your left)

last night at kamp '06

watching tennis together in '07

so grateful to have Laura back in my life. and here's to the Lord being awesome and once again blowing my mind with His timing. :)

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

every day and every milestone

i can't take credit for this, but it was too good not to share. in fact, i immediately emailed my coworkers with this little nugget. hope it encourages and convicts you as it did me.

Our prayer for your family is that every day and every milestone would convince you that Jesus is worthy of devotion and discipleship.  May your milestones lead you to remember Him and be thankful.  Journeys always have delays and difficulties and sometimes can be downright hard and discouraging.  May the Lord give you eyes to see His wonders along the way and a heart to believe that the journey is good and the destination will be spectacular.

stay faithful in the journey.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

it's why i do what i do

moments like last night are why i do what i do. coaching never gets old. never. sure, there are frustrating moments, but the life impact you have far outweighs the frustration over missed serves or compound errors. that being said, i love when i get to spend time with my players off the court. i love that we can maintain a relationship after i finish coaching them. i can still be a positive voice in their life. and that's why i coach.

last night, i had the privilege of feeding my mexican belly with Kinzie, one of my SJVC 15 Red kiddos. i love this kid and am so grateful for the continued opportunity to speak Truth into her life. love you Kinz!

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

a timely word

i skipped out on Bible study tonight (gasp, i know). put me on the naughty list if you must, but as i was doing my homework that i failed to do (i skipped bc i didn't do my homework and i wanted some "Jesus time" to get caught up), God smacked me between the eyes with a timely word of Truth for a very dear friend of mine. that's no coincidence. God is in the business of orchestrating moments like this ALL THE TIME. all we have to do is be open to His voice and obedient when we hear it.

don't mis-hear me and think that i'm hyper-spiritualizing my desire to skip on Bible study and have some Jesus time to myself tonight, but DO hear me saying that it's okay to do that and, in my case tonight, the Lord did it for a reason. i needed this time to slip away, undistracted, and hear His Truth not only for my life, but also for my friend's life.

you see, tomorrow is a really big day for her family and i can't be there. my heart is aching. i literally might not sleep tonight. i'm battling my own desire to storm in and take God's role in her life. to fix everything. i keep telling myself that the Lord will fight for her. He will work all things for her good. He's got this. i mean, He's God after all, right? anyway, as i was reading tonight, here's what i came across...

"Alas, Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am too young." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am too young.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. "They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 1:6-8, 19)

um, yeah. about that. i promptly picked up my phone and shot a few texts with those verses. God will not let her be overcome. He will rescue her. He will give her the words to speak. He is with her. He is for her. what comfort in the face of such daunting days ahead!! i pray she believes God to hold true to His promises and i pray that He will flood her with His peace and a quiet confidence in His hand at work in her life.

and tomorrow will be a day that i, too, have to rest in His plan for her family. i will fight for her in prayer, but ultimately, the battle is the Lord's. and He will work all things for her good. according to His plan. not hers or mine. 

soli deo gloria.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

ballistic bings

i woke up this morning to a crazy series of bings on my iphone. normally i'd be slightly annoyed that my phone was going ballistic just minutes before my scheduled alarm, but not today. today, in the midst of my sleep stupor, i grinned from ear to ear and felt extremely blessed. and then i rolled back over and conked out until my alarm went off.

the crazy series of bings was a string of text messages from a very dear friend who was sharing some thoughts in response to a recent study of David and his friendships. i won't share her name, but here's what she said this morning.

"To my few uncommon friends: I am studying God's work through David

right now and I just finished reading about David's uncommon friendship with

Jonathan in 1 Sam. 20 and how God knitted their spirits together (1 Sam. 18:1).

I am so thankful for your friendship and how we are knit together by the

Spirit of God (Eccl. 4:9-12). Thank you for the times we have prayed together,

laughed together, and cried together. I praise God that every time I have left you,

I feel strengthened and encouraged and challenged in the faith (Rom. 12:15).

I love you! You are my iron (Prov. 27:17)."

what a great way to wake up!! my friends continue to blow me away with their commitment to the Lord and how they pursue Him above all else. that passion trickles down into our relationship and is such a tremendous blessing to me. they sharpen me daily.

in the midst of my crazy life right now, i realize how important it is to surround myself with people who are mutually encouraging as Paul says in Romans 1:12. as much as my relationship-craving self wants to maintain as many friendships as possible, i'm realizing that depth is more valuable to me than breadth right now. focusing on a few relationships and doing them well is my priority as opposed to trying to maintain as many as possible. that's a tough one for a girl like me to swallow.

but that being said, friends like this one are invaluable. i'm blessed to have her and several others like her in my life right now. i hope you have a few too.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.