"grandpa" jim

well "grandpa" jim,

words are hard right now, but i want you to know that you are missed. with every bit of my being. with all of my heart.

i hear your laugh and see your big grin in my mind throughout the day and i can't help but smile. but then my heart sinks because you're gone and i can't pick up the phone to call you. i won't see your name pop up on my phone after anymore carolina losses or wolfpack wins.

you've only been gone a week, but my heart misses you in the biggest of ways. you were one of my best fans. you stood in my corner. you prayed for me. you teased me. and you cheered me on in each new adventure. you loved me well with that big 'ol heart of yours. you told the best stories and i loved the way you paused to make sure everyone was listening for the punch line even though we'd heard the story a hundred times. you were joy, delight, grace, kindness, welcome, belonging, gentleness, honesty, integrity, and love in human form. you made your little piece of this earth a better place and your presence is so very missed.

i know where you are now and i know all the things to say to make myself feel better about you being gone, but frankly it still sucks. it just hurts. i want one more hug and kiss from you. it was all so sudden. i didn't get a chance to say goodbye. i didn't know my birthday was the last time we'd be together. if so, i would've kept you there for a just a few more stories and laughs.

what i want is for you to whip open your jacket with your big goofy grin to reveal a wolfpack pin or the trusty red gel pen you always kept in your pocket. i want you to thank me for my "missionary work" at UNC. no one teased me quite as lovingly as you and my sundays in asheville just won't be the same without you there. on that note, i think you'd be proud of me for not yelling "go heels" during your memorial service on sunday. i mustered every bit of self-control i could and managed to sit quietly amidst all the wolfpack talk.

all that to say, i'll be okay. it's just going to hurt (a lot) for a while because of how much you meant to me. i dared to love deeply and as a result i'm going to hurt deeply. it was worth it, but that doesn't make it any easier. a friend of mine posted this phrase recently and it is oh so true...

sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks

i love you "grandpa" jim and i'll see you again one day. until then, i'll do my best to make you proud and cheer my tar heels on to more victories than your wolfpack.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally

a life well lived

that's what we all want, right? if we're honest, we want a life well lived. sure, we all want lots of things, experiences, etc. but at the end of the day when we're in our last days, we want to be able to say ours was a life well lived. now, that may mean all sorts of things to all sorts of people, but it only takes a short read through Scripture to know that things will fade but our impact on the lives of others will remain.

Gran's life was a life well lived. she lived each day with purpose and lived to serve the Lord and others. we sang a familiar song in church today and the last verse seemed a fitting summary of Gran's final days. she is rejoicing in paradise with her Savior as we speak and that, my friends, is cause to celebrate.

and on that day when my strength is failing

the end draws near and my time has come

still my soul will sing Your praise unending

ten thousand years and then forevermore

[bless the Lord (10,000 reasons)]

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

that's not me...

i have to give creative credit for this post to a coworker. he used this idea for his dad's eulogy and i thought it was incredibly creative and meaningful. so i stole it. but i just confessed, so i feel better about it.

you might think you know me, but you don't. you see, what you see isn't me. it's all the people that make me who i am. don't believe me? just keep reading...

if you see me drinking hot tea, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me baking banana bread, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me shed a tear, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me serving others tirelessly, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me playing tennis, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me eating cereal as a late night snack, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me enjoying a walk along the beach, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me choosing to simply wear mascara, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me drinking grapefruit juice, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me holding a hanger with my mouth to hang up clothes, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me doing a crossword, sudoku, or newspaper word games, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me wearing furry socks, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me organizing an event, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me watching mystery shows, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me reading a book, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you see me collecting quotes, that's not me...that's my mom.

if you hear me singing a Bible verse from memory, that's not me...that's my mom.
if you see me re-fill a water bottle and stick it in the fridge, that's not me...that's my mom.

* * * * * * 

if you see me leading well, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me living with integrity, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me discipling and pouring into the lives of teens, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me loving God's Word, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me loving every type of sport, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me watching football on a sunday afternoon, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me coaching, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you hear me say, 'it'll just take a minute' and then it takes an hour, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me clearing the table after a meal, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me push you to be your best, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me believing the best in others, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me wearing crocs, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me arriving early, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me napping in the recliner, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me detailing my car, that's not me...that's my dad.

if you see me watching Top Gun and Mask of Zorro, that's not me...that's my dad.
if you see me eating tortilla chips with salsa or peanut butter, that's not me...that's my dad.

* * * * * * 

if you see me empathizing with your pain, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you see me forgiving you without fail, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you get a thoughtful gift or card, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you see me get excited about new workout clothes, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you see me with a great smoky eye, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you see me wearing dangly earrings, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you see me drinking coffee, that's not me...that's my sister.

if you see me wearing heels, that's not me...that's my sister.

* * * * * *

if you see me loving to travel the world, that's not me...that's my mimi.

if you see me browsing department store sale racks, that's not me...that's my mimi.

if you see me enjoying a mcdonald's hamburger and fries, that's not me...that's my mimi.

if you see me taking off my shoes to be shorter in a picture, that's not me...that's my mimi.

if you see me wiping down the countertops, that's not me...that's my mimi.

* * * * * *

if you see me eating banana pudding, that's not me...that's my gran.

if you hear me singing 'Silver Bells' in an accent, that's not me...that's my gran.

if you see me volunteering in my community, that's not me...that's my gran.

if you hear me cracking jokes, that's not me...that's my gran.

if you see me serving my church, that's not me...that's my gran.

you see, it's not me you see at all.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

prayers for gran

:: fall 2011 ::

:: christmas 2011 ::

 :: christmas 2012 ::

:: christmas day 2012 ::

y'all...i'm writing to ask you to join me in praying for my sweet gran. she's an independent go-getter who doesn't slow down (at least i know i come by it honestly). and until a month ago, she was driving the elderly to church. um, yes. you heard me. but now she's grounded and no driving for her.

gran had a seizure days before christmas and subsequently found out that she has a stage 4 brain tumor. she's now battling for her life. she's undergoing chemo and radiation for the next few weeks, but her spirits are up and so far no nausea. please pray that both of these things continue. she is an encouragement and example to so many and we brinkleys love her dearly.

thanks in advance for your prayers.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

the apple and the tree

well, you know how the saying goes..."the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." ...well, i can't exactly say that because then i'd be paying myself a compliment and that's just tacky. and not very classy. and definitely not the Southern way my mama raised me.

but what i'm trying to say is that my parents are awesome. fabulous. amazing. best-ever. givers. fun. encouraging. and wonderful house guests.

they gave me the honor of hosting them this past weekend for my birthday. and we had a blast. dad jokingly said at one point, "i'm not sure who's having more fun...you or your mother." fact: we all had a fantastic weekend. i had just enough planned to keep us occupied and just enough down time to truly relax and enjoy being together (read: sunday nfl on the couch). and yes, i made an itinerary. obvi.

[disclaimer: pops asked for an itinerary ahead of time, so the fact that i'd already made one came in handy. i come by it naturally. after all, i am my father's daughter.]

on that note, here are a few pics from the weekend of celebrations. enjoy!

birthday flowers from mom and pops to start the day off right.

birthday dinner in downtown st. pete.

allison joined us for dinner and gelato. love this girl!

i wore him out on night one. oops.

saturday morning bike rides on the beach. so refreshing.

cherry snow cone queen.

birthday cake from the roomie!

mom and pops before the comedy show saturday night.

mom and pops, thanks again for taking time out of your hectic Fall to come and spend 3 days with me. love you both so much!!

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

i'm on "topsail time"

Topsail Beach

i'm not a beach girl. never have been. probably never will be. but since i've been a floridian for a little over a year now, i've learned to appreciate the beach. i don't love it, but i can enjoy it.

on that note, i'm headed to the beach with my fam today! i haven't been to the beach with them in 5 years. yes, 5. we used to go every summer and my fam has continued to go without me. but this year, i'm back in the game.

we're headed to topsail island, nc. (that's top-sul, not top-sale). mind you, this is the place where i experienced my first blistering sun burn as i got lost for hours. but it wasn't my fault, honestly. let me explain myself...

13 year old bekah and 12 year old katie head off down the beach to act grown up and eat at the grille on the pier all by ourselves. (with parental permission of course.) we eat. it’s delicious. then we head back along the road instead of the beach.

katie gets sick. starts running for the house. i re-route and walk along the beach to tell her fam what happened. i walk. and walk. and walk. until the beach starts wrapping around in an oval.

at this point, i realize i’ve walked to the end of the island and have no clue where i am. our fams left the beach (without telling us) and pulled all their chairs away from the water where they last were. since i didn’t know which public access we used (and there are several), i now have no clue where i am. (well, i knew i was on topsail island in the state of nc, but that didn’t do me much good). awesome.

at this point, i’ve been walking for approximately 2 hours in desperate need of a sunscreen re-application. [insert blistering shoulders]. but not to fear, the genius inside of me vaguely recalls seeing a "13" at the beginning of our rental house number. so i high tail it to the road and start searching for the 13s. i’m in the 20s and nowhere near the 13s. super.

then, as if it were a mirage, pops comes barreling down the road in our teal ford windstar to sweep me up. (apparently, i had the fams worried and they sent the men out looking for me.) you'd think the lost son had returned from his wayward ways when i walked in that door. and the AC nearly knocked me over, but hey, i'll take it.

moral of the story: if you leave for lunch with a friend, tell your family to leave their beach chairs as a marker so you know how to get home. and take sunscreen with you.

moving on...i'm super pumped for some family time, which will definitely include canasta, bocce on the beach, and floating in the waves to appease mom among other things. and i'll do my best to avoid a repeat lost adventure.


so until further notice, i'll be disconnected and on what we like to call "topsail time."

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

happy anniversary!!

june 18, 1983. that's the day these two promised forever. and i'm so grateful they did. i mean, i wouldn't be here if they didn't. mom and dad may have seemed a little crazy in the beginning (only 7 dates before their wedding?!), but it's pretty evident that the Lord was in it from the beginning. 29 years later they love each other unselfishly and still like each other too. to that, i say well done!

i'm blessed to have parents who love and honor the Lord and one another. i never questioned my parents' love for one another or for the Lord as i was growing up. i never feared that any of their disagreements would lead to divorce. [i can't say arguments because i don't remember ever hearing them raise their voices at one another in front of me and i certainly never heard them call each other names. now, i know good and well that they disagreed on things from time to time because i've been there to hear it, but that's normal. at least if you have a pulse.]

all that to say, i'm so grateful for parents who model what a godly marriage is. mom and pops, thanks for modeling Christ's love for anna and me so well and for staying committed to each other for life. love you both!!

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

happy father's day!

the older i get, the more i realize how deeply the Lord blessed me by making me a brinkley, and jack jr.'s oldest at that. i rocked dad's world from the beginning...i mean, he was trying to coach a football game two states away and i was rudely insistent on making my grand entrance without him. oops!

but pops has rocked his job as dad from the get go. he loves big. he's confident in his corny jokes (which have only gotten funnier the older i get). he's committed and faithful. he's my coach and encourager, my handyman and my financial adviser. he loves my mom and only has eyes for her. he faithfully prays for his family. and has never failed to center us on the Lord. i love you dad and pray for a man like you to continue leading me the rest of my life. 

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

back in the "show me" state

this past weekend, i was back in the "show me" state. one of my many homes. kansas city, mo played host to hundreds of girls in spandex with hopes of a bid to nationals. and i was in the thick of it, naturally. i loved being back in mo. loved the constant sound of whistles and the sight of volleyballs bouncing like popcorn throughout the convention center.

but as much as i loved those things, i didn't love them nearly as much as i loved spending time with my adopted family and other close friends. i left a lot of my heart in mo when i left last april (as seen here), so it's always a treat to go back and visit. though i'll be the first to admit that it's not often enough. anyway, these are the faces i could barely wait to see and dreaded leaving once again. september can't come fast enough!

LB (y'all, she's only 15!!)

April (the laughter was constant)

 April and LB

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

oh the anticipation

quick post this morning because i still have lots to do. but at the end of the day, these two lovely faces are what await me in kansas city. I. AM. PUMPED!!!! i'll see more of my missouri friends tomorrow and over the weekend, but these two are practically family and are making an extra effort to swing by and see me tonight! and i can hardly stand the excitement!!

mama Jane

LB

3:30 cannot come fast enough. missouri, here i come!!!!

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

an object in motion

i'm an object in motion. and i'll be staying in motion for a while. my life is once again defined by boxes, labels, tape guns, and suitcases. besides working and coaching (and the occasional workout), my life is consumed by packing. whether it's packing up my house to move across the bridge to st. petersburg or packing a suitcase for one of the crazy adventures waiting around the corner...i pack. between now and may 26th, here's what i have ahead of me:

kansas city, mo :: volleyball

greenville, nc :: see the sis

chapel hill, nc :: visiting the Davis fam again

moving to st. pete :: mom's coming to help!

new orleans, la :: Kat's wedding

st. augustine, fl :: beach time with Ginny and fam

orlando, fl :: volleyball

yeah, i may just not unpack until June. boxes...yes. suitcases...we shall see. i'm about to be on a whirlwind of a rollercoaster, but i'm so excited for each thing on that list that i can hardly contain myself.

back to the boxes...

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

better late than never

so what if it's january 10th and i'm just now posting more of the pics i took while i was home with family. yeah, life's been a little nuts. and i was actually spending time with my family while i was there. not blogging. enjoy the photo post. i'll get caught up eventually. just not today. :)

sis loves her some christmas tree.

so when dad said we had room for a 7 footer, we clearly pictured 8 feet trees in our heads. hence the measuring tape.

someone loves the fluffy kind...

sniff test.

don't be fooled. it was a mom photo op. i did nothing. 

i just love her.

really glad this one was here again this year. he came in handy with all our tree issues later on.

safely home and undoing the tree to get it in the house.

the boys doing work. 

obviously my role was to document this new tradition in the making. and to make sure the tree was properly centered and vertical from all angles. tough work i tell ya.

...and we lost him.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

from resident to visitor

a line from the book i just finished reading said...

"I realize with a wave of remorse and panic that Andy and I have suddenly, instantly morphed into visitors--tourists--in a city where we once resided."

this, unfortunately, is the story of my life. both Asheville and Branson have become just that for me. vacation destinations with memories of once being home.

yes, part of me will always consider Asheville "home" (i answered a coworker's question in that mindset just the other day actually), but my days of hopping in the car and running errands in this eclectic mountain town every day are done. i enjoy the moments when i'm home, obviously, and i'm tempted to relocate at times, but that's part of growing up and building my own grown up life. i don't get to stay forever. some stay, some go. i'm a go-er. as hard as it is, i'm a go-er.

and Branson is the same way in a different way. no biological family, but pretty darn close when it comes to how much of my heart is invested in the people there. but now i'm a tourist. i can proudly claim the status of a "has been local" though, and you better believe i will. i had my taney county driver's license that was good for local discounts at one point. so can i get an amen?

all that being said, i hope that someday i can say the same about tampa. i don't plan to live in tampa forever. let's be honest, i'm a mountain girl through and through. the beach will never float my boat. i crave the mountains. i crave crisp, cool air. i crave hikes and camping. sand is my enemy. here's to hoping tampa becomes a place full of rich relationships where my heart is fully invested and i can one day look back and say it truly felt like home for a time.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

i come by it honestly

i know i can be weird, but at least i come by it honestly. christmas with dad's side of the family never fails to give me side stitch from laughter. Brinkleys...

Uncle Robert

Gran

again, at least i come by it honestly. and at least my family knows how to laugh and laugh well. :)

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

pine antics

well, this year my mom thought it would be fun to do a real tree. yes, i'm 25 and i've never had a real tree. we've had the same perfectly symmetrical fake tree all my life. and i love it. but mom wanted to buck with tradition and start a new one. no one objected. secretly, i think she just wanted help decorating because she does it by herself each year. but by waiting until i got home on the 23, she was guaranteed 4 sets of helping hands (the sis' boyfriend was here too).

so yes, we went down to the nearest lot (mom had scoped them out the day before) and picked out a lovely 7 footer that had minor blemishes in the plump department, but it just adds character in my opinion. we hauled that puppy back and promptly set her up. the pictures can tell the rest...

on the lot...

...and we ran out of lights. so the sis and i set out to buy more...

...mom and the sis adding more lights. notice how much darker it is outside at this point. we literally hunted all over town to find lights. that's what we get for waiting until the 23rd...

...my view of the final product from my perch in the corner of the sectional. this is prior to the sudden fall that i caught with my leg. yeah, we had to re-decorate this puppy because all the ornaments decided to fling themselves onto the floor when she fell...

...and this is the next morning. she safely made it through the night thanks to mom's barricade...

...and dad's whack job helped hold the tree up for the night too. who knew scrap wood blocks could be so useful?...

...new tree stand purchased on christmas eve morning and our tree is good to go. she hasn't made any more efforts to fall, so that's been nice. decorating and re-decorating isn't so much fun when it's christmas eve...

i hope your christmas was slightly less eventful, but that you made some fabulous family memories like we did. happy new year!!

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

every day and every milestone

i can't take credit for this, but it was too good not to share. in fact, i immediately emailed my coworkers with this little nugget. hope it encourages and convicts you as it did me.

Our prayer for your family is that every day and every milestone would convince you that Jesus is worthy of devotion and discipleship.  May your milestones lead you to remember Him and be thankful.  Journeys always have delays and difficulties and sometimes can be downright hard and discouraging.  May the Lord give you eyes to see His wonders along the way and a heart to believe that the journey is good and the destination will be spectacular.

stay faithful in the journey.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

it's the little things

this past thanksgiving weekend was filled with great memories. some of which i've already blogged about so i won't bother repeating. i loved having my fam down in my house this year. way fun to play hostess and give mom a little break this year. not that she wanted one, but it was fun to do it anyway. dad wasn't so lucky. i put him to work on a "honey do" project as my mom would call it. and he added a few of his own as well, so i don't feel so bad. he likes little projects. i think it comes with being a dad.

this trip, he tackled...

• installing my ceiling fan...better 6 months late than never!! it has made SUCH a difference already!
• tightening my shower head
• checking and topping off all the fluids in my car

the sis helped me get my wireless network up and running. FINALLY!!!!! i can use my laptop in my house and get online. like i said, it's the little things. i mean, shoot, i'm sitting here on my couch right now watching football and writing this blog. so great.

and in case you didn't catch it the first 32 times, i love my family. and i loved having them on my new turf. can't wait to be with them again in a few weeks....home in the mountains.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

do as the floridians do

well, since it was 80 degrees on thanksgiving day, we decided to do as the floridians do. we went to the beach. we didn't swim, but we did walk along the water, hunt for shells, and take some awesome family photos that will make their debut in my parents' christmas card. however, here are a few pics that aren't in the running for the christmas card photos so they're fair game for cyberspace. enjoy!

i'm bekah brinkley, and i think my family is awesome. i'm also sorry you weren't there to hear what my mother and the sis were saying between shots. hilarity.

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.