i wasn't going to say anything

okay, humor me for a minute. think of three things that mean the most to you. i'll give you a second. you got 'em? okay, now pick one. any one. it doesn't matter which one it is. it just needs to be really really important to you. as in, you'd die on that hill defending it. ready?

now, let's say a bunch of strangers (and even some friends) start speaking ill of that thing. hurtful, negative, partial-truths...some intentionally hurtful, some accidental. is your blood pressure rising? heart hurts just a little? now imagine that this goes on for several months with no end in sight. one sucker punch after another.

you're officially in my shoes now, so let's take a walk together.

[credit: UNC's official seal (obvi)]

let's be clear. i'm not asking you to love carolina. i'm not even asking you to like it. i'm just asking you to hear me out. given all the jaw flapping that has gone on about carolina and its athletic department lately, i've been inclined to keep my mouth shut. i wasn't going to say anything. i don't want to pick a fight. i like to keep the peace. however, if you punch me enough times, i'm going to fight back. especially when you're talking about my family.

i can't speak for every carolina student-athlete, but i can confidently speak for myself and the few that i know well.

it was hard.

there were no free passes. i probably needed some tutoring. i took the carolina CREED. i went to class. i went to study hall. i met with my advisor and chose my own classes. it was, after all, my education. i also earned every C i was ever given. i even have my book report on the oxford english dictionary to prove one of them. i worked for my degree; it was not given to me. i juggled 15 credit hours every semester on top of weights, practice, meetings, conditioning, film sessions, rehab, more meetings, matches, and away game travel. like i said, it was hard. i could've used a free pass or two actually.

i, and so many others that i know, competed and studied with utmost integrity. so yeah, i take offense to blanket statements regarding fraud and scandal at my university and in my athletic department in the same way that i took offense to the daily tar heel editorial in 2004 claiming that "all unc athletes are dumb jocks and should take a modified EXSS course load" because that's all we can handle. try me. or better yet, try my pre-med, business school, journalism school, and honors program teammates. and don't even get me started on the gymnasts and their curve-wrecking selves.

here's the deal: i get it. i'm not naive. there are elements of truth to the recent allegations and i won't argue with you there. mistakes and poor choices were made. but please, don't throw us all in the same pot. these individuals are the exception, not the rule. of that i am absolutely confident.

i'm bekah brinkley, and i'm proud to be a tar heel.

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

settling isn't so bad

well, when i told you i'd be off the grid...i guess i meant it. i get terrible cell service inside my new condo so it took a hot minute to get all things technology working again. that being said, hopefully i'm back. i can't promise that i'll blog consistently, but i'm back. interpret that however you wish.

moving on...

i went on a run yesterday and had a moment of revelation as i was sucking wind on the last hill. [note to self: when you haven't run since december, running hills is a bad idea. abruptly going from florida terrain to north carolina terrain is also a bad idea] so as i was finishing my run, this thought hit me and nearly made me stutter step...

there is uncertainty in charlotte, but it's accompanied by hope and expectancy.

tampa was uncertainty accompanied by restlessness and frustration.

i don't know what this means or how things will play out. maybe i need to go for another run and it'll hit me again?? seriously though...i have no idea what lies ahead for me in my new city, but it excites me. i never want to leave. i would love to be here forever. those are words i haven't uttered in a really long time. i can see glimpses of why the Lord took me where He did in missouri and florida, but i don't see the big picture. that's His job. however, i do feel like i'm finally home. my heart is at rest. i'm feeling settled. this doesn't feel like another stop along the way. and that's refreshing to this wearied soul.

on that note, i have a few more boxes to unpack and things to put away before a certain sista friend roommate arrives next weekend. did i mention that? my one-and-only sista friend is moving in y'all. she's graduatin' and got an internship. yay God!

now come visit us!

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

to hate like this...

credit

"The basketball rivalry between Duke and North Carolina has become the greatest rivalry in college athletics, and one of the greatest in all of sports. It is Ali versus Frazier, the Giants versus the Dodgers, the Red Sox versus the Yankees. Hell, it's bigger than that. This is the Democrats versus the Republicans, the Yankees versus the Confederates, Capitalism versus Communism. All right, okay, the Life Force versus the Death Instinct, Eros versus Thanatos. Is that big enough? This is a rivalry of such intensity, of such hatred, that otherwise reasonable adults attach to it all manner of political-philosophical baggage, some of which might even be true." 
- Will Blythe, To Hate Like This is to Be Happy Forever (p.5)

i couldn't have said it any better myself. GO HEELS!!!! beat dook.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

more than a basketball coach

well, there's big news for my tar heel basketball fans out there. and college basketball fans in general. or just anyone who watches espn on the regular. i can finally open my big mouth that i've been keeping shut for the past week and a half. hubert davis is now officially the assistant basketball coach at north carolina. yay hubert!!!!

i'm so excited for this chapter in the davis' lives. and while i know it will be a fun change to have hubert home on (more) weekends, i know it will also bring a brand new set of challenges for their family. and if i'm being completely honest, i'm mourning the fact that there will no longer be fun college game day commercials of hubert to enjoy. (my all-time fave is "duke boy" shown below.)





his wife leslie is a rock star. she knows how to challenge and encourage like nobody's business. and she is as honest as honest can be. in fact, i vividly remember our first "meeting" my junior year in college where she told me, and i quote, "i don't care if i offend you to the point that you don't want to speak to me...at least until you have to come back and meet with me again next week." that's leslie. and that's why i love her. she boldly speaks Truth.

dinner with my parents and the davis' : may 2008

hubert and leslie : may 2008

i'm trusting that the Lord will use hubert and leslie in the lives of the guys on the team, the coaching staff, and the athletic department. the Lord has faithfully established relationships and has now opened this door for them in His perfect timing, and i'm beyond excited for them. it may even warrant a second trip to chapel hill before the clock strikes 2013. can i get a GO HEELS?!

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

Tyler Zeller: I Am Second

In case you needed further reason to love our big man in the middle, here's a two minute clip of Tyler Zeller sharing the role his faith played during his journey through four years of Carolina basketball and how the Lord was his foundation all along.



GO HEELS!!

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

a novel type day

yesterday felt like a day in the life of a nicholas sparks novel character. seriously. i'm in his neck of the woods (eastern nc) for the weekend. ironically, this is the same weekend he's hosting a benefit in nearby new bern, nc. too bad i wasn't invited.

yesterday, the sis and i drove over to washington, nc. it's the type of small town (complete with a town square) that plays host to almost all, if not all, of nicky's books.  the sis and i took a nice little walk along the pamlico sound and found a swinging bench by the water to enjoy for a bit. unfortunately, i didn't think to snap a pic of this awesome little bench, but let me assure you that it's straight out of one of his books. or at least good material for one.

i did, however, snap a few pics of the boardwalk and one of our winged friends. there were gaggles of seagulls flying overhead, but thankfully no "gifts" if you know what i mean.

i'm pretty sure if i lived here, i'd make the trip over to washington and the sound at least once or twice a month. it's a different world over there, and it's calming. i think i fell in love, which only means i'll have to come back.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

what few will understand

"It's not about getting a scholarship, getting drafted, or making SportsCenter. It's a deep need in us that comes from the heart. We need to practice, to play, to lift, to hustle, to sweat. We do it all for our teammates. When we miss something, we don't let down an entire state, but we let down our teammates, coaches, and fans. But the hurt is the same. We train hard, lift, throw, run, and go to class. It's about pride, in ourselves, and our alma mater. It's about love and passion for the game. When we walk off the court for the very last time, our hearts crumble. Those tears are real. But deep down inside, we are very proud of ourselves. We will forever be what few can claim: college athletes."
-unknown

fall 2004

nostalgia has a way of sneaking up on me at the most random times. but i don't mind it one bit. re-living my years in chapel hill with girls i call family usually brings laughter and a big smile to my face. no one can truly understand the crazy dynamic of life with other weirdos that build their entire life and college education around playing games with a ball...unless you're one of us. and then it's this weird bond that can never be duplicated and is misunderstood 9 times out of 10 when you try to explain it.

but for the select few who understand, who actually get it...it's home. these girls frustrated me to no end and encouraged me to no end. we laughed. we cried. we bled. we silently (or not so silently) cursed our very existence and questioned our sanity at times. but we made it. and we're stronger for it. and i wouldn't trade those years or my teammates for anything. my love for my fellow vb heels is unmatched. (ooh, no pun intended there, but that's a good one!).

so here's to my vb heels. may we always RAM IT wherever life takes us.

beks

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

i'm all about the madness

credit: Jessica Sell

"this is not blue. not sky blue. not baby blue.

and certainly not that other blue.

this is the bell and the well.

this is Dean. number 23. and Roy Williams.

this is a dynasty. five time national champs.

and how the game is meant to be played.

this is domination.

these are the tar heels and this is carolina blue."

welcome to march madness my friends. the time of year when the heels come out to shine. and my heart swells with an unholy amount of pride. i picked my heels to beat kentucky in the finals. a little bit of revenge from last year's match-up. just saying.

tip off today against Vermont is 4:10 EST on TBS. you'll find me at my desk faithfully refreshing gametracker while i work.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

unc > everybody else

well, i couldn't help myself. after last night's slaughter of nc state's basketball team by our bench, my little tar heel heart is swelling with pride. which of course is only enlargened (is that even a word?) by this lovely little article. yes, nc state, you are not our rival. maybe 30 years ago, but not anymore. nice try. thanks for playing, but you're not the lucky winner.

so, on that note...

GO HEELS. GO AMERICA.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

happy #20

tonight i had the chance to sit back and watch a college volleyball match with one of my coworkers, Kaleigh. she played for the University of Tampa and they had a home match, so of course we went! it wasn't the same as watching my beloved Tar Heels in that beautiful shade of blue, but it was still a blast to watch my favorite sport live. it's such a mix of power, finesse, and precision. love this game. :)

happy #20

image

watching a college volleyball match.

[credit to Liza for the idea of posting happies each day]

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

happy #17

tonight i had the privilege of doing dinner with one of my unc teammate's parents. it was so great to see them again and have time to catch up. we had a very leisurely dinner on the water (yes, water in indy) and it was FABULOUS. who knew Indy could do dinner on the water so well?! reservoirs are just as nice as the bay in this case. sailboats, sunset, breeze and all. 

happy #17

lovely dinner on the water with friends


[credit to Liza for the idea of posting happies each day]

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

happy #4

nothing beats time at home with the people you love. today was spent at church and then at the river with the fam for a stuff your face til you're sick to your stomach style picnic. delish. so much food. so much green (leaves and trees that is). so much cool weather i actually had chills. welcome to the mountains. :)

happy #4

Jim & Sara Hart

the little girl cousins

the boy cousins

and the big girls

spending time with people you love and eating yummy food while you're at it

[credit to Liza for the idea of posting happies each day]

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

happy #3

i'm headed to NC today and can't wait to see the mountains and my family. i feel sorry for the person next to me on the plane. i might squeal. it's been almost 9 full months since i was home in my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains and that is WAY. TOO. LONG. needless to say, this visit is long overdue and much anticipated.

happy #3

seeing the fam and being home in the mountains again

[credit to Liza for the idea of posting happies each day]

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

i pledge allegiance to...

image

allegiant airlines is quickly becoming my best friend. yours truly just scored a flight home for labor day weekend for $120 round trip (taxes included). let me just state for the record that i was paying around $400 to fly home when i was in branson. yet another perk of moving to florida.

i'm scheming fun things to do while i'm home, but let's be honest....i'll probably spend most of my time on the fabulous sectional sofa watching movies & ball games with mom and dad, or reading a book. less than three months until i'm home again in the mountains. do you hear the angels rejoicing? i do.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

another perspective

a tar heel nation friend here in Branson just posted her thoughts on Carolina over here* on her blog. insanely well-written. i highly suggest you check it out.

side note: she worked in the office across the hall from me (until she had baby boy A in January) and we discovered that we used to stand 3 rows apart at all the football games. oh hey student-athlete section. so glad we're friends now. love you Phabs!!

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

unc > dook

last night arizona did what butler should have done this time last year. they beat dook. finally. my boys are still in. and they're making their way to the big dance. we just need to take care of business with marquette tonight and we'll be one step closer. University of National Champions. bring it on.


it snowed (or something like that) last night, so i wore my letter jacket to work today. proud alumni. duh!


i've shared my love for all things carolina and chapel hill on here before* so it shouldn't be a secret. i swell with pride. i get defensive and my fists come up ready to fight when i hear people trash talk Carolina. i don't know any boys on the team anymore, but they're family. it comes with being part of the tar heel nation. and a student-athlete at that. it's in my blood. forever.


just four games left and then let the celebratory fires on Franklin Street commence. for all you non-heels, see the short video below. i promise this is what happens. and boy do i miss it!! traditions.

let's get a win tonight boys. the Carolina way. and let's show the rest of the nation what it means to be a tar heel.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

asheville

let's be real. i love asheville. it's quirky. eccentric. earthy. vibrant. diverse. perfect. it will always be home.

yes, technically i was born in georgia, but i left before i have any recollection of it. north carolina has been home for as long as i can remember. it always will be. i love everything about the state. i mean, who couldn't? it's the "tar heel state"...duh!!

so, for those of you who haven't had the privilege of experiencing this not-so-little gem of a town firsthand, i'll attempt to convey it's awesomeness. here's why i love this little mountain town with all my heart...

1: downtown. you'll never see the same thing twice. it's a perfect mesh of earthy, liberal, modern, mountain, business....life. so much for your typical southern town. i love it.

2: i never have to use a gps. never. i know this city inside and out. and that makes me happy.

3: i will always call it home. cedar view drive will always be the place where i return. no matter where i go, i'll always come back. and it will always feel right.

4: biltmore village and biltmore estate. who else can boast "america's largest home" in their hometown? yeah, that's what i thought. it's gorgeous, and so full of history. i love escaping to biltmore village to browse the boutiques and slip away to biltmore estate to go back in history. love love love.

5: grove park inn. every friend who ever comes to visit me will wind up walking the halls of grove park with me and sitting in the lobby to chat and listen to the live music. it just feels right.

6: everywhere i go holds a memory. whether it's east asheville with the ball parks and ACA's old campus where i spent the first 12 years of my school career...or west asheville with the fresh market's yummy goodness and the old mcdonald's on merrimon that used to have the indoor playplace with the giant purple creature...or south asheville with the racquet club where we spent every sunny summer afternoon at the pool and church every sunday at Arden Pres...or north asheville with, well, i guess i don't venture into north asheville very much. maybe i should work on that.

7: crisp, cool mountain air. i've never breathed better air. seriously. it could be the middle of the summer and the air is still crisp....none of that "i'm breathing in a cloud" mess.

8: water that literally tastes like you took it straight from the spring. better than bottled. and it's from the tap. no funky sulfur taste or massive amounts of lime junk that leaves the funky white residue in your tea kettle. just pure, clean, bona fide mountain water.

9: small town feel with big city opportunities. maybe it has something to do with the fact that mom and dad both grew up in asheville and returned to raise us there too, but it just feels comfy and right. i can go out and see someone i know, but not everyone. you can feel connected, but not invaded. everyone doesn't know your business, but enough people know and they care. they really care. you're connected.

10: the mall. it's seen quite the facelift since i left for carolina, but it has always been a great place to go and spend an afternoon wandering the stores and spending more money than i should. and it's slightly more enticing now that there's a dippin' dots stand in the food court. um, yes please!!


11: all four seasons. we get all four seasons in perfect doses. winter isn't bitter. spring is budding. summer isn't blistering. and fall is gorgeous. i have never seen a place more beautiful in the fall than asheville. and i'll argue that i never will. see for yourself and join the rest of the tourists that come to drive the blue ridge parkway and marvel at the leaves. stunning.

12: mountains. mountains. mountains. i am not a beach girl (ironic that i'm moving to Tampa?). take me to the mountains every time. 10 out of 10 times i'll vote mountains. some people go to the beach to see the majesty and splendor of our Creator God. i go to the mountains. i find refuge there. i find Him. i love when i come up old fort mountain and see asheville nestled among the mountains in front of me, or when i look outside the plane window and see the blanket of green bumps that are the essence of this little mountain town. they make my heart skip a beat. i love the mountains. always have, always will.

"ASHEVILLE SYNDROME:

some people come down with it for a week.

others are happily afflicted for life.

in this north carolina town,

virtually everyone is seeking a wilderness fix.

and no one goes home disappointed.

in fact, you may not go home at all..."

for me, i don't have to go home. it is home. 

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.

chapel hill: the way life should always be

i saw that slogan somewhere and i have to agree wholeheartedly. chapel hill is bliss. it's energy. it's quiet. it's alive. it's home. it's the greatest place i've ever lived. eventually i want to end up there again. but for now, i'll have to settle for visits that are few and far between.

(photo credit: Adam Biel)

i tried listing some of my fave chapel hill hot spots, but that proved difficult. instead, here is a video to give you a glimpse into the place that stole my heart forever.

"Without even noticing, UNC seeps into your pores. By junior year, she’s in your blood. You can’t remember a time when you didn’t have moments on campus where you lose your breath for a second and all you can think is,
‘Wow, I love this place.’"

-Elyse Ashburn, Daily Tar Heel Editor 03-04

Chapel Hill. when i hear those two words, deep-rooted love and pride swells inside of me. it's difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced the magic of Chapel Hill firsthand. the town and the University are a package deal. it's hard to separate the two. however, it's not hard to see the small town charm or feel the pride swelling in every student's chest when you step on campus. but, to spend four years there is something that can't be described. to invest my heart and soul into that university and compete with that name on my back is beyond words. how does a simple decision like "where are you going to college?" somehow become my heart and soul? i find myself craving Chapel Hill almost daily. here are the things i miss most...

1. frozen yogurt from yopo
2. smelling the stinky pear trees on campus, but loving how beautiful they are
3. putting on my jersey every friday and saturday night
4. rushing Franklin Street with the rest of the student body after big wins
5. penne with pink basil sauce at Franklin Street Pizza & Pasta (aka FSPP)
6. weekly accountability with Leslie at Cafe Carolina
7. early morning weights with my teammates
8. campus runs 
9. tripping on the uneven bricks with protruding roots
10. doing the "pit sit" between classes or just because
11. fried okra from TimeOut
12. never having to dig for pennies at B-Skis. $6.50 means $6.50
13. pre-game meal at 411 West
14. football games in the fall. front row. 30 yard line. behind our boys.
15. always having a Carolina basketball ticket just for being a student-athlete
16. being part of the greatest rivalry in college sports. don't argue with me.
17. making earrings at The Original Ornament in Carrboro
18. morning bagel from Alpine in the Union
19. selling my books back at RamBooks & treating myself to a manicure
20. being part of the Carolina athletics family & watching everyone else compete
21. yogurt and granola bowl at Foster's Market
22. laughing at underclassmen drinking from the Old Well on the first day of classes
23. the daily crossword and sudoku in the Daily Tar Heel (aka the DTH)
24. banana milkshakes from Sutton's Drug Store
25. hearing the bell tower chime

i'm sure i forgot about a thousand other favorite things, but let it suffice to say that i miss that little town and everything it embodies. i became a part of it while i was there and it became a part of me. when i packed up and drove away for the last time, part of me died. i know i can always return, but it will never be the same. bittersweet. i'll leave you with my favorite rendition of James Taylor's "Carolina in My Mind." perfection.

i'm tar heel born and bred. and yes, i just realized that i spent 3 hours reminiscing while writing this post. 

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.