the deeper things

several months ago, my friend marilynn said something that initially struck me as odd, but as it settled in my soul i decided i couldn't agree more. it was freeing. i didn't write it down, so don't quote me on this, but the gist of it was...

anyone can know the simple things about my friend; i am more interested in knowing what stirs her soul.

at first that sounds abrasive, as if she doesn't care about her friend's likes and dislikes. i paused and the truth of what marilynn was saying washed over me. grin. yes. amen. praise hands.

we're all wired for relationships. we can't do this life alone. we aren't meant to do it alone. it's much too hard that way. long ago i realized that i'm not only wired for relationships, but i'm also gifted at creating meaningful ones and maintaining them across all sorts of distances and time zones. people are important to me and are worth the effort. [this isn't an attempt to toot my own horn; just simply claiming what i know to be true about myself and have learned to embrace as a strength.]

for years i chided myself for not knowing simple things about some of my best friends. things like how she takes her coffee, her favorite animal, gold or silver, where she'd vacation if she could go anywhere, her favorite book, crest or colgate, tulips or hydrangeas. you get the idea. i assumed that a good friend would know all these things about her friends since casual acquaintances often know them, but i didn't. i still don't.

and that's okay.

it's okay because i know the deeper things. the things she fears. what makes her soul come alive. what drives her. why she loves Jesus and His people so. how she is gifted. where she is weak and strong. how the Lord is breaking her.

these are the things that matter most. why? because in knowing them, i am a better friend. i love deeper. more fully. and Jesus is able to shine a little brighter through me.

anyone can take my friend a cup of coffee or her favorite flower to brighten her day, but speaking truth and love into someone means knowing her. knowing more than what her barista, florist, or pharmacist know. it means taking the time to ask hard questions, rub elbows in all seasons of life, serve together, and pull off the masks.

i want to be that friend. i want to bring life. hope. joy. truth. love. kindness. i'll probably bring you flowers or a gift that makes me think of you when i see it, but that's not my end goal. i want you to know in your bones that you are known and loved for who you are.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally