October 17, 2014

when God starts to move

i'm still working my way back into a blogging routine [laughs to self] but i wanted to share this article with y'all in the meantime. i came across it this summer when, let's be honest, my life was spinning somewhat out of control at a pretty decent rate. but just to be clear, most of it was self-inflicted.

earlier this year, i felt an unshakeable urge to do more with my life because my days weren't adding up to what i wanted the sum of my life to be about. so i took a few uncertain steps and, as a result, found myself in the thick of making some big decisions real fast. note: this girl is not a quick decision maker. she ponders for more than a hot minute. so while i might've looked like i had it together to the masses, the few knew i was one moment away from madness. but more on that later.

this was one of those times in my life when i was certain God was moving. i just wasn't sure how or where or when. lots of opportunities were on the table and i didn't want to miss the best one by settling for another. but, i couldn't rule anything out because everything was contingent upon another uncertain something. cue paralyzing anxiety.

that's about the time i came across an article that was more than good for my soul. [i also made a few s.o.s. phone calls to much wiser mentor-friends if we're being honest.] deep breaths. this article brought a little peace and sanity to this stressed out soul in the midst of a whole lot of uncertainty.

God is constantly at work around me and i desperately want to pay attention and be part of it.

when God starts to move
Sometimes, amidst the typical movements of my days I feel this stirring in my soul: Oh, that my life would matter. That I would engage in this world and help exchange fear and shame for love and grace. 
But how, exactly, do I step into this movement of God? How do I know what He wants me to do…how do I know which path will help me to bring the most Life to this world? 
About a year ago, my husband and I were wrestling with some heavy, life-trajectory-changing questions. Through this process, our world capsized. What we thought we knew, we didn’t. Where we thought we were going, we weren’t. New life was breathed into every nook and cranny of our home and our hearts. 
And this is what I learned: 
  • Listen to the stirring in your heart, the nudge in your soul, the thought that makes your breath catch. It shimmers amongst the rest of the thoughts in your day and it won’t be quieted. 
  • Sit on it. See if you can shake it. 
  • Get counsel from trusted, godly mentors. 
  • Take a day of solitude: Sit in silence. Make lists. Listen. Free-write. 
  • See if you can imagine not following through. 
  • Pay attention. Sometimes God does speak in neon signs. See if this theme, this stirring, pops up in different corners of your life: conversations, books, lives of friends, even TV shows. Sometimes God is obvious.
God just might be getting your attention. God just might be on the move. 
And when you open yourself up to a new thing that He is doing, be prepared for your world to capsize. Be prepared to feel apprehensive, to feel scared, to feel like this is something bigger than you. But as soon as you allow a step out of your comfort zone, your fortified walls will come crashing down. You will find your heart breaking easier. 
You might feel the need to give a gift card from a restaurant to the homeless guy on the street. Maybe you’ll toss around the idea of adoption. You will be compelled to do some things that you have never done before. Get ready to get caught up in God’s movement. 
I have seen that God is in the business of making this world whole again, and He wants us to be a part of this movement. However that looks in our different cultures and communities and families, He wants us to be part of it. And that is the path to a life that matters. That is how we can tell this world that we are for them, and not against them. 
We felt this movement, this stirring in our soul, so my husband and I paid attention. We listened and we talked. For us, this is how God’s movement in our world looked: nudgings both obvious and subtle for my husband to enter back into the Army as a military Chaplain. This thing that God is doing is uprooting us. But we know in the heart of our hearts that this is the right and best and good thing for us to do. We can’t imagine not doing it. We know this is how we might be able to bring the most Life to this heavy and hurting world. 
And because God has a tendency to take you deeper still once you open up your heart and your world to this movement, we felt a new quickening of our hearts at the thought of adoption. A stirring nudging us to lean in and do what we can to rewrite the story of an orphan 
Military? Adoption? Neither were in our future life plans. But we opened our hearts to some new things and we paid attention and asked some questions. And our world has changed, in the very best of ways. 
Take time to listen. To connect the dots. To be open to a new thing. God just might be on the move.

yeah, what she said. oh, and if you want to read the original article, go here.


live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally

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