rude awakening

as i sat on the cruise ship one afternoon last week, i was struck with a harsh reality. there i was on a luxury cruise liner surrounded by enough food and drinks to make my stomach explode. meanwhile, numerous americans and people around the world go hungry every day.


i stepped off the boat in belize (our third port of call) and saw just how ridiculous our cruise antics were. there we were in our prime vacation-wear with jewelry, handbags, etc. and just on the other side of the fence was a third world country crying out for help. i was concerned about my outfit. they were concerned about food and clean water. convicting.


it put my mind into a sense of unrest. i had a hard time relaxing and enjoying myself that afternoon when i got back on the boat because of what was running through my mind.


how is this okay? why am i spending my money on temporary "treasures" instead of using my resources to meet needs and save the souls of men? why is my perspective so easily jaded? should i feel guilty for being on this ship to relax and spend time with my sister and friends? am i selfish for being here?


all those thoughts bounced around in my head and i spent some time journaling and processing. i didn't really come to any grand conclusions. maybe just a renewed sense of responsibility and conviction. i never want to become focused on anything that will not last after it's all said and done.


i don't want to spend my time and money on things that are "status symbols". who cares if i don't have the nicest jewelry, clothing, handbags, etc.? what matters more than being "in", or being envied by others for my fashion sense, is to be investing in the lives of others. to be making a difference for the Kingdom. to meet tangible needs. be the hands and feet of Christ. nothing else matters in the end, so why should anything else matter now?


whew. sorry for the rant. had to get it out. i'm not exactly sure how this renewed conviction is going to play out in my daily life and in my budget, but i'm open to suggestions. i want my eternal perspective to take on more of a tangible feel. any thoughts??


bekah


live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.