about me: it's not.

the past few months have been a journey. a journey toward fully grasping what it means to rest in God's plan for my life. it requires a deep humility, absolute trust, and overwhelming love. i've had to come to a point where i understand that it's not about me. not at all. not for a second. it can't be. it has to be all about Him.

Max Lucado says it well, "God's priority is His glory. He occupies center stage; I carry props. He's the message; I'm but a word." God is jealous for His glory. He doesn't exist to make a big deal out of me. i exist to make a big deal out of Him. His glory is my priority. my life should bring Him glory. everything i do should bring Him glory. if it doesn't, it's still about me. and it's not. i am nothing. He is everything. i'm the created. He's the Creator. i'm called to be a sacrifice (romans 12:1-2). and a broken one at that (psalm 51:17).

i'm important to Him, but i'm not indispensible. i'm valuable, but not essential. He doesn't need me. but He uses me anyway. try and swallow that one. it's easy to nod in token agreement, but to really understand this truth and live it is another story. everything in our culture is built on the premise that it's all about me. all about me feeling good, needed, accomplished, smart, beautiful, successful. the need to always look my best and keep my act together. the need to look out for #1 because if i don't, no one else will. the need to make a name for myself. nothing could be further from the truth.

because think about it...if it were all about me, then i would be in charge and it would all be up to me. i would have to keep the universe in perfect order, be the comforter and healer to billions of people, hear and answer millions of prayers a second, determine what would happen in the future, and not grow weary in the process.

i don't think i really want that kind of cosmic responsibility. and i'd be willing to bet, neither do you. and because He's God, He knew that. in fact, He loved you enough not to make it all about you. you don't have to shoulder those responsibilities. your simple task is to use your life to make as big a deal out of Him as you can, because He is and you are not.

and before i become debbie downer, let me remind you that i am not, but i know I AM. Louie Giglio describes this mindset in his book titled just that, "I am not, but I know I AM." in it he states that "instead of suffocating under the weight of thinking I was in control, I could now rest in the fact that God could do whatever He wanted with me--and I believed that He was going to do just that." the same rings true for me. i took a step of faith and moved to Branson. and i will not look back. this is where He wants me. this is where i am called to serve and called to rest. He has given me my spheres of influence and they keep me from becoming comfortable and complacent. but there is a fine line. too much of a good thing is a bad thing. i honor God not in my busyness, but in my stillness. in the moments when i acknowledge that it is all about His name, not mine.

i'll close with a few last words from Louie: "You see, rest is not about doing nothing. It's about doing everything we do with the quiet confidence that our lives, families, businesses, ministries, relationships, and dreams are in His hands." i certainly wouldn't want them in mine.

bekah

live unashamedly. laugh uncontrollably. love unconditionally.