i'm goin' fishin'

credit: Shayla Helsel

i don't fish. i never have. truthfully, i've actually never held a fishing rod for real. i used to pick up my papa's old ones and play with them, but i've never actually been fishing. not my thing.

[disclaimer: if you have a boat and go deep sea fishing, please feel free to invite me. it's on my bucket list.]

that being said, i fish. yep, you heard me. not literally. that's gross. but i fish in the sense of searching with all my might for what i value most in life, the things i just can't go another day without. bear with me here...

background: the disciples had literally just seen Jesus crucified, buried, risen, and reappeared to them in private. all after their homeboy Peter denied Jesus 3 times like he said he wouldn't. oops! that being said, they were probably a little emotionally fragile and unstable. so...they did what most of us would do. they went back to what was comfortable and what they knew. they grabbed a boat and went fishing. that's where Jesus finds them and where this picks up...

"[Jesus] called out to them [disciples], 'Friends, haven't you any fish?'

'No,' they answered.

He said, 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.'

When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish."

-john 21:5-6 

i don't stake my livelihood on my daily catch of fish like the disciples did. but i do place a high premium on relationships and building a strong sense of community. my "fish" if you will. it's no secret that both of those departments have been severely lacking down here in the sunshine state. i knew it would be hard leaving my k-world branson fam. and it was. still is. i just didn't think i would be sitting here 16 months later still struggling to have a community to provide accountability and life-on-life encouragement. but i am. 

it's discouraging more often than not, but i take comfort in the Truth from john's words that Jesus knows where the fish are. He knows where i should cast my nets, where i should invest my time. as i trust Him to provide, my nets will overflow. so while i feel like i'm still sitting here in the midst of a long night of nothing, i'm trusting that Jesus knows where the fish are.

bekah

live unashamedly :: laugh uncontrollably :: love unconditionally.