i'm learning to abide. it shouldn't be a surprise to most of you that i have trouble being still. sure, i love my lazy afternoon on the couch or, as is the case right now, on a boat. deep down, i have this false conception that i have to always be doing something. efficiency. i must be efficient with my time. how many things can i accomplish at once. and do them well. this idea that sitting still equals laziness and laziness is a bad thing. that if i'm not up and moving, then i'm wrong. i'm wasting time. valuable time.
i'm learning that i'm wrong. but not becuase i'm sitting still. i'm wrong because i'm not. i'm wrong because God is always speaking to me and i don't hear Him. i don't listen. i make too much noise. literal noise with my mouth. and noise with my actions. just doing instead of being. i need to be. to abide. to rest. after all, didn't Christ Himself say that only when we abide in Him can we do anything. apart from Him, we bear no fruit (John 15). somehow, i don't think i want my life to be characterized by a lot of useless noise that bears no fruit.
but until i learn to abide and rest in Him, to be still and know that He is God, then i'm going to continue to live in this fallen mindset that being still and abiding in Him isn't paramount. sure, there will always be plenty of needs to meet and things to do, but if i'm not taking time to quietly rest in Him, then i'm toast. my motives will be impure and i won't serve out of love for my Savior. i'll serve out of duty. i'll become another busybody under the guise of religion.
this is a journey. i'm learning. i'm enjoying each new step. being still in Him. knowing that He delights in me when i stop to simply be in Him instead of do for Him. abiding.
live unashamedly. laugh uncontrollably. love unconditionally.